I’ve heard men say over the last few years how difficult it is to be a single mother.
A strong single mother’s reply, “well actually it’s easier.”
But remember everyone’s background and situation’s different. Women are a strong lot and the majority of women who are single mothers do more than most husband and wives put together. And they do it without complaining.
Single mothers are judged harshly by society. In fact many labels spoken by people in positions of power about single mothers have left me speechless. From they’re incapable of doing anything meaningful, they’re all welfare recipients, can’t hold a respectable job, lazy, their children are out of control or every time you turn around they’re shacked up with some guy. Personally, I don’t know of a single mom who’s falls into one of these categories. So where does this come from?
Society has way of classifying genders, groups, races and class of people. And some will judge still. Communities feed off gossip and create sensationalism especially where there’s no truth. The Truth is hardworking, dedicated honest single mothers, keep their heads down and many go unnoticed. A high number of single mothers are the sole support for their children--the hardest working in society. Their primary focus is the welfare of their children, looking after house and home and helping out in the community—all in the best interest of their children.
Single mothers work all day. Hurry home to care for their children, feed them, clothe them, shelter them, and protect them. Are always there to listen, or read to them even though she’s so tired she’d rather soak in a hot bath or curl up in bed. She loves her children. Teach them to be honest--to make the right choices. She’ll stay up late helping with a class project that’s suddenly due the next day. Juggles after school activities, monitor’s friends her children play (which includes their parents), helps out those less fortunate because she recognizes a need--maybe at one time she had been there.
Single mothers are strong women, and they’ll not seek out a man to help them. Because they know they can do it themselves. They’re the ones up on the twelve foot ladder cleaning out the gutters, chopping wood, fixing what needs fixing. And not once will she complain. But she’ll also learn to stand up to authority and to those predators who try to take advantage of her and her children. Predators can be a boss, a co-worker, a landlord, a neighbor; even someone of authority in schools—and unfortunately, some are other women. Being a strong independent single mother comes with a price and sometimes a label, at times not a very pretty one.
I’m sure everyone knows one of these hard working caring single moms who are trying to make a difference. These women are not out dating every guy and looking for a meal ticket—the stereotype society likes to portray. Those who believe that way of thinking need a reality check. These women are too busy to play games. Many have learned the hard way predators who fill society seek them out looking for a way to break them. And it’s because they’re so strong. And these predators can stalk them, will attempt to manipulate them, steal from them and they’re masters at what they do. Knowing they can get away with it because very few resources of support are available to single mothers—and surprisingly in some areas that includes local law enforcement. There have been a few stories in smaller communities, male dominated communities—rural communities of these travesties. Which is maybe why some women refuse to report a crime against them--or stand up to a predator in their area, as support may not be on their side.
The power of knowledge is something I believe in and teach my children. Sometimes having insight into what some single mothers face helps us not only to be empathetic. But be better people.
A strong single mother does not need a man to step in and rescue them. Most have been there done that and it wasn’t a fairy tale. And he wasn’t the prince he claimed to be, which may be why they’re so strong and confident today. How many of you can pick out one of these strong confident single mothers?