Tuesday, February 28, 2012

Strong Single Mothers


I’ve heard men say over the last few years how difficult it is to be a single mother.

A strong single mother’s reply, “well actually it’s easier.”

But remember everyone’s background and situation’s different. Women are a strong lot and the majority of women who are single mothers do more than most husband and wives put together. And they do it without complaining.

Single mothers are judged harshly by society. In fact many labels spoken by people in positions of power about single mothers have left me speechless. From they’re incapable of doing anything meaningful, they’re all welfare recipients, can’t hold a respectable job, lazy, their children are out of control or every time you turn around they’re shacked up with some guy. Personally, I don’t know of a single mom who’s falls into one of these categories. So where does this come from?

Society has way of classifying genders, groups, races and class of people. And some will judge still. Communities feed off gossip and create sensationalism especially where there’s no truth. The Truth is hardworking, dedicated honest single mothers, keep their heads down and many go unnoticed. A high number of single mothers are the sole support for their children--the hardest working in society. Their primary focus is the welfare of their children, looking after house and home and helping out in the community—all in the best interest of their children.

Single mothers work all day. Hurry home to care for their children, feed them, clothe them, shelter them, and protect them. Are always there to listen, or read to them even though she’s so tired she’d rather soak in a hot bath or curl up in bed. She loves her children. Teach them to be honest--to make the right choices. She’ll stay up late helping with a class project that’s suddenly due the next day. Juggles after school activities, monitor’s friends her children play (which includes their parents), helps out those less fortunate because she recognizes a need--maybe at one time she had been there.

Single mothers are strong women, and they’ll not seek out a man to help them. Because they know they can do it themselves. They’re the ones up on the twelve foot ladder cleaning out the gutters, chopping wood, fixing what needs fixing. And not once will she complain. But she’ll also learn to stand up to authority and to those predators who try to take advantage of her and her children. Predators can be a boss, a co-worker, a landlord, a neighbor; even someone of authority in schools—and unfortunately, some are other women. Being a strong independent single mother comes with a price and sometimes a label, at times not a very pretty one.

I’m sure everyone knows one of these hard working caring single moms who are trying to make a difference. These women are not out dating every guy and looking for a meal ticket—the stereotype society likes to portray. Those who believe that way of thinking need a reality check. These women are too busy to play games. Many have learned the hard way predators who fill society seek them out looking for a way to break them. And it’s because they’re so strong. And these predators can stalk them, will attempt to manipulate them, steal from them and they’re masters at what they do. Knowing they can get away with it because very few resources of support are available to single mothers—and surprisingly in some areas that includes local law enforcement. There have been a few stories in smaller communities, male dominated communities—rural communities of these travesties. Which is maybe why some women refuse to report a crime against them--or stand up to a predator in their area, as support may not be on their side.

The power of knowledge is something I believe in and teach my children. Sometimes having insight into what some single mothers face helps us not only to be empathetic. But be better people.

A strong single mother does not need a man to step in and rescue them. Most have been there done that and it wasn’t a fairy tale. And he wasn’t the prince he claimed to be, which may be why they’re so strong and confident today. How many of you can pick out one of these strong confident single mothers?

32 comments:

  1. THANKS FOR THE HOP AND THE GREAT BOOK

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  2. *YaY* for single moms. After my late husband died I was one for six years.

    I salute you for sharing this great post.Thanks :)

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  3. I know several strong single mothers who didn't really choose to be that, but circumstances forced them into it. They handle challenges with humor, strength, and confidence.

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  4. Single parents certainly have a lot of work and responsibility! I know quite a few of them!

    Thanks for the giveaway. My blog is participating too- if you want to swing by for a chance to win a gift certificate and a book. :)

    ~Jess
    haightjess at gmail dot com
    GFC: Jess/Fairday
    http://thesecretdmsfilesoffairdaymorrow.blogspot.com/

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  5. Thank you for your comments about single mothers. I am one because of divorce. I have raised my 3 boys alone up until last year, when my oldest went to live with his Dad. It is not easy, and you are right, people are very quick to judge and take advantage. And unfortunately, many of these are people in authority. Thank you for speaking up for us.
    Kathy Robbins

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  6. GFC follower as LB

    petrellninc-blog at yahoo dot com

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  7. Beautiful post. I'm a single mom and people are surprised when I tell them I don't date. They don't understand that my child comes first.

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  8. Beautiful post. I'm a single mom and people don't understand why I don't date. They don't get that my child comes first. It used to bother me but not anymore.

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  9. Thank you for this post, you're a star. I'm a single mother. My daughter had a step-father from the age of 18 months to 8 - it was a disaster. I ended the relationship and went back to being a single mother. We haven't looked back. There's never a raised voice in the house - only the sounds of laughter. We're happy - and all the household chores get done on time without anyone nagging. Even the rubbish gets taken out early rather in a belated scramble. It's the perfect life for me!

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  10. Thank you!

    Pragya
    pragyasharma_100@yahoo.co.in

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  11. GFC - Jeanne
    Thank you for this awesome giveaway.
    :) Jeanne, jeannebates_t@yahoo.com

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  12. Thanks for the giveaway.
    GFC - Sherry S.
    sstrode at scrtc dot com

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  13. As a single mom, I really appreciate this. When my daughter was two she said, "Mommy, you're the mommy and the daddy." It made me a little sad when she said this, but also proud. Although I did not set out to be a single mom, sometimes it really is easier to be one. Thanks for this post!

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  14. I was raised by a single mom and now that I have three of my own, I can appreciate even more all that my mom did on her own. Single moms are strong!

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  15. Wow....the story sounds great. I'm not a single mother, but I do admirer them. They're strong women. I'd love to read these books.

    Thank u for this giveaway and making it international.

    amel.armeliana@gmail.com

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  16. Thanks for the amazing giveaway!

    elizabeth @ bookattict . com
    GFC: BookAttict

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  17. Awesome--gfc follower (Ruth)
    I am a single mother!
    ruthaw_1974@yahoo.com

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  18. What a wonderful article. I was a single mother for much of my son's life. It was hard but I had a lot of support. Kudos to you for writing such a thoughtful blog!

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  19. Kudos to you for writing such a thoughtful post.

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  20. I follow via gfc as Becca, thanks so much for the chance! sbcashortie at hotmail dot com

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  21. follow by gfc as dayleb. WTG on your writing skills,
    what a honor to be at the top ebooks.
    thanks for the great hopping hop
    dayle b at telus dot net
    adore your wall paper too.

    ReplyDelete
  22. Thanks for the giveaway. I know several strong single mothers. I use to be one of them.

    GFC: tpulliam

    pulliam_t@yahoo.com

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  23. Thanks for the giveaway! I have had this on my tbr list awhile! gfc kelly fox
    delivery.RN at gmail dot com

    ReplyDelete
  24. Thank you for the giveaway!

    GFC: Jessie
    thejessiebelle@gmail.com

    ReplyDelete
  25. Love your post! i was a single mother for the first 3 1/2 years of my sons life! GFC tracy haidle

    taterbug78(at)gmail(dot)com

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  26. Thanks for giveaway :)

    katerina.kopistova@seznam.cz

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  27. Thank you very much for the great giveaway!
    GFC-latishajean
    tishajean@ charter.net

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  28. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  29. Kudos to all of you, and thank you for stopping by and leaving a comment. Every single mother will have a different background--different challenges, and I was surprised by the turnout in response to this blog. Single mothers deserve a voice, and its important to raise awareness.

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  30. I have been a single mother to my children for the last 10 years. I have not dated, payed my morgage for 9 years alone . I have a professional job that has enabled me to support us. My life has been a rollercoaster with depression and happiness. Mostly because i do it alone I get depressed that I am so alone but refuse to date too. I put my kids first and have put off dating till their grown. sometimes i feel like i am always working whether it be at home or work. The lonelyness comes and goes. I really love my kids and hope they will know what I have done is for them not myself. Wish I had more friends or someone to relate, thanks for this post

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  31. Thanks for finally writing about > "Strong Single Mothers" < Liked it!
    My weblog ; www.xfire.com

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  32. A single mother faces multiple challenges including running the house smoothly besides ensuring a secure future for the kids. Single motherhood is therefore touted as no less a lifetime of struggle and compromises.

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